MEET anthony barnes, Lcsw
IT’S TIME TO EMBRACE every part OF WHO YOU ARE.
I’m a California-based therapist who specializes in gay men, trans & non-binary folks, couples & partners, and issues related to sex & sexuality.
BEING HERE IS THE FIRST STEP IN PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST
You remember a time before the weight of it all. Before the quiet, persistent voice that told you something was fundamentally wrong with you. Before the anxiety, the relationship struggles, the creeping sense that your life hasn't turned out the way you'd hoped. Maybe you can't quite pinpoint when things shifted. Maybe you've carried this for so long it just feels like you.
But it doesn't have to stay that way.
I'm Anthony Barnes, and I work with people who are ready to build a more compassionate relationship with themselves. Maybe you're a gay man still sorting out what identity and intimacy really means to you. Maybe you're trans or nonbinary, trying to claim your space in a world that hasn't always made that easy. Maybe you're in a relationship, or navigating open and/or poly dynamics, and you want to build something that actually lasts. Or maybe you just have a quiet, persistent sense that something needs to change, even if you can't quite name it yet.
Whoever you are and whatever brought you here, you've come to the right place.
How I work
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I BELIEVE CHANGE HAPPENS WHEN YOU stop treating yourself LIKE A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED.
I help my clients find clarity, genuine compassion for themselves, and a sense of wholeness. Not by handing them a roadmap, but by helping them build their own. So much of what passes for therapy today is formulaic: a worksheet here, a coping skill there, the same approach for everyone. I don't work that way. You are not a checklist, and your inner world is too layered and complex to be treated like one.
Together, we'll get curious about the parts of you carrying old pain, old shame, and old stories about who you are and what you deserve. Using Internal Family Systems (IFS) as my primary framework, I'll guide you through a creative, deeply personal process of understanding your inner world: what drives you, what protects you, and what's been holding you back. I weave in somatic and mindfulness practices along the way, which means I'll invite you to notice what's happening in your body, not just your mind. Physical and mental health are inseparable, and I treat them that way.
I'll be curious. I'll be direct. I'll know when to keep things light and when to sit with you in the hard stuff. And through it all, you'll be building something that no one can take from you: a real relationship with yourself.
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My training in Internal Family Systems, somatic and mindfulness practices, Gottman Method, and attachment theory gives me an integrative foundation for the wide range of things people bring to therapy. Whether you're coming in with anxiety, relationship struggles, questions about sexuality, or a deep sense that something needs to change, I have the training and the temperament to meet you where you are.
But I'd be leaving something important out if I stopped there.
I know what it's like to have your own worth called into question, by the outside world and by yourself. Getting sober in 2012 didn't just change my relationship with substances. It forced me to confront who I really was, including my own sexual identity. Working through all of that, piece by piece and at my own pace, taught me something real about what it means to embrace your full self. It's not a tidy process. It's not always comfortable. And it does not happen on anyone else's timeline.
That lived experience comes into the room with me. When you work with me, you won't just get a skilled, trained therapist. You'll get someone who has been in the work themselves, who knows what it actually takes, and who genuinely believes, because I've seen it and I've lived it, that you are worthy of love, healing, and a life that feels like yours.
HEre’s what I believe about therapy:
This is not a lifelong commitment.
My goal is never to become a permanent fixture in your life. I want you to come in, do the real work, build the skills, and then go use them. The world outside this office is where growth actually gets tested, and that is where I want you to be. Of course, life has a way of throwing new things at us, and you are always welcome back for a tune up when you need one. But the aim from day one is to work myself out of a job.
This space should be dynamic and tailored to your needs.
What works for one person may do nothing for another, and a good therapist knows the difference. I pull from multiple frameworks and approaches because no single method has all the answers. Some sessions we go deep and slow. Others we keep things practical and focused. I pay close attention to what is landing and what is not, and I am always willing to adjust. Your therapy should fit your life, not the other way around.
Therapy is not about eliminating the problem. It’s about changing your relationship to it.
Anxiety, grief, shame, anger. These are not enemies to be defeated. They are parts of you that are trying, in their own way, to help. The goal of our work together is not to make them disappear but to loosen their grip, to understand what they are telling you, and to give you a choice in how you respond. When you can be with those feelings instead of being run by them, everything starts to shift.
My Background
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Certificate in Substance Abuse Counseling from UCLA Extension (2013)
Certificate in Motivational Interviewing
Internal Family Systems (IFS), Trained
Certified Personal Trainer
Certified Group Fitness Instructor and CrossFit Coach
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Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), State of California #118946
Master of Social Work from California State University, Northridge (2018)
Bachelor of Arts in Business Administration from Pepperdine University (2010)
Ready to get started?